10 reasons why you should never take an Irish person literally

1. I will yeahCork

   It has every word of a yes in it, and it is not a yes. Said flat, the way people actually say it, I will yeah means I will not, and the person who asked already knows the job will not get done. The bins, the lift, the favour: the answer looks willing and means the opposite.

   Will you put the bins out? I will yeah.

   Same answer, aimed the other way: You will yeah

2. I'll let you goRoscommon

   It sounds like permission, as if they are doing you a kindness and setting you free. They are finishing the call. I'll let you go turns up when the chat has run its course and they want the evening back. You were not waiting to be released. They are already on the way to hanging up.

   Right so. I'll let you go.

3. Yer man / Yer wan

   It sounds like possession. Your boyfriend, your husband, your one. It is not. Yer man is that fella: the one whose name you do not know, or will not say, or that you both know well enough to leave unnamed. Yer wan is the same for a woman. If someone tells you what yer man did with the tractor, they are talking about some lad, not about anyone who belongs to you.

   Did you see what yer man did with the tractor?

4. MessagesWaterford +5

   Messages sounds like the texts sitting on your phone. In plenty of Irish houses it is the shopping. Doing the messages is the milk, the bread and the few bits from the shop, the ordinary errands someone has to do before dinner. Going down the town to do the messages means the shops, not the phone.

   I'll be back in an hour. I'm down the town doing the messages.

5. Giving outTipperary

   Giving out sounds like handing things around, leaflets or sweets or whatever is going. It is a telling-off. Giving out is complaining, scolding, keeping the disapproval going. When your mammy is giving out, she is not distributing anything. She is letting you know what you did, and she is not finished.

   Would you ever stop giving out, the dinner is grand.

6. DeadlyWexford +9

   Deadly sounds like a warning, something that could do you harm. In Ireland it is usually praise, and high praise at that. A deadly night is a great night, a deadly sandwich is a serious sandwich, and if the match was deadly you are glad you went. Now and again it means something fierce hard, like a deadly exam, but the meaning that catches visitors is the good one.

   The gig was deadly. Best night we've had in ages.

7. GrandCarlow +10

   Grand can sound like a standing ovation to a visitor. A grand day, a grand job, you're grand. Most of the time it means fine. It will do. If the dinner was grand, eat it and do not expect a song about it. If you apologise and someone says you're grand, you are off the hook, or near enough. It is not a medal.

   How's the new job? Ah, it's grand.

8. HarmlessTyrone

   Harmless sounds like a kindness, a gentle soul who would not hurt a fly. Sometimes that is all it is. Often it is a soft slap. Call a fella harmless and you can be saying he is no threat and not much use, grand company and no good in a crisis. It arrives with a smile, which is how a lot of Irish digs travel.

   Is he any use, yer new fella? Ah, he's harmless.

9. Throwin shapesCork +1

   Throwin shapes sounds like a row about to start, elbows out, someone squaring up. On a night out it is the dancing, or the showing off. The lad giving it loads on the floor, or across the room at someone he fancies. Look at yer man throwing shapes is not a call for the bouncer.

   Look at yer man throwing shapes on the dancefloor.

10. ShiftAll Ireland +19

    Shift sounds like a gear change, or like asking someone to move the car. A shift, in this sense, is a kiss, and not a polite peck. It is the full snog, tongues and all. Did you shift anyone is a question about the night out, not about whether you relocated.

    Well, did you shift anyone last night?

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