Up me arse on a nail

phr.

I do not know where it is.

In use

Where's your feckin vape? It's up me arse on a nail!

Let Lawrence Muck translate it to posh English for you
Lawrence Muck

Hello. Lawrence Muck, at your service. Would you like me to translate 'Up me arse on a nail' in use for you?

Wherever is your confounded vaporiser? I haven't the faintest notion; it is impaled upon a nail somewhere up my posterior!